I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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