Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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