If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
