Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to have your abortion
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
