theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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