And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
