He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
