Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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