Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
