Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
