Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We don't watch enough power rangers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
