Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
