i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How does one acquire holy water?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize