yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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