I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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