I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
