She announced her abortion via fbk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
