it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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