I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
