One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
