Nicole vs. Life
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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