yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
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I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.