Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(559): View more from California

With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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(904): View more from Florida

Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(269): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.

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(904): View more from Florida

pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

(850): View more from Florida

This has already gotten way out of hand

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(602): View more from Arizona

Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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(720): View more from Colorado

All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.

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