Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS