I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.