Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.