Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.