Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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