he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Holy shit dude........stairs
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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