i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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