New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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