Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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