Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
