awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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