im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
