After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
