That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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