so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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