And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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