Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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