I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
