so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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