Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
