I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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