good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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