I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
