I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
