if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
