she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
