I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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