Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she looked like the before picture.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize