we made out on top of his cat.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
