just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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