I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
