I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
