Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
