His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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