You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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