Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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