If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
