Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
