I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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