i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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