'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Floor bacon is actually really good
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize