I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize