haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
