booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
