the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
