High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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