so that wasnt chicken after all
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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